Coping with my depression

I’ve never hidden the fact that I have depression. Its always been something I have been very open about on my blog, in the hopes that by talking about it, I can encourage others to be open and ask for the help they may need.

Sometimes as a parent I need some time to myself. I love to take some time to unplug from the world and look after myself and my mental health. There are certain things that I love to do in this time and the main one is to come away from social media and even my blog which can be extremely hard as I work really hard to try so that my blog succeeds. I try and have a regular upload schedule but when I’m in that bad place mentally I feel so much pressure to keep that up and generally get overwhelmed so, for now, I just upload if and when I can. My mental health is far more important than getting views.

Life, in general, can be overwhelming for me. I work full time (Although I now only work 4 days, not 5 – still full-time hours) and have a three-year-old. Lately, I’ve been feeling really alone as Sam works shifts and I have just been feeling like he's not here and I’m doing it all on my own. I honestly salute all single parents doing it on their own, because it's not easy. I know it will get better – We have been doing this for almost 3 years now and I’ve just been struggling a little lately with the shifts Sam’s been working.

Social media I find really hard when I’m in that dark place. Seeing every perfect life and happy faces make me feel worse every time. I’ve learned to stay away now.

When I’m feeling bad I always love a long soak in the bath. I love baths and always have. When Sam and I first moved in together he was shocked at how long I could spend in the bath – sometimes reading whole books in there or watching 3 or 4 episodes of a Netflix show, but its always been a great a way for me to relax. When I’m having a down day a bath helps me to relax too. I also find something soothing in the fact I get out completely clean, no matter if I’ve had a shower that morning or what there is something about getting into the bath feeling dirty and getting out feeling completely clean and that helps – maybe it’s a mental thing?

Getting out of the house is something I always struggle with when I’m down but I always try and get out even if its to nip to the shop. I’m often found on my days off wandering around the city center or our local shopping center. Feeling trapped in the house makes everything seem a lot worse and it reminds me of being on maternity leave with Harry and I worry that I’ll go back to being that bad so I try to leave the house once every day.

Keeping busy is key when I’m feeling down but can also make everything overwhelming – I still struggle to find the balance and fingers crossed I will do soon!

The number one thing I try to do is talk about how I'm feeling. Whether it be chatting with Sam, who has been with me through plenty of my 'episodes', or my mum I find that talking about it really does help

Kat's April favorites!

So, as I said in one of my other posts, I really want to do two separate posts for my favorites and Harry’s favorites so, this post is all about the things I’ve been loving in April.

Deciding what things to put into a post all about my favorites can be quite difficult, especially as, because it’s a blog post rather than a youtube video, I don’t want it to go on forever so I've limited it for now to 5 things. Sometimes I think it's not enough but others I wonder how I'm going to find 5 new things I've been loving every month, but here are my top 5 for April!

1.      Game of Thrones. What can I say about this one? Sam and I were really late to the game with GOT. We had been talking about watching it forever but it was only really when we swapped from Virgin to Sky in February that we started watching it, and boy was we hooked! We were watching three or four episodes a night some nights but then would go a week without watching one because of Sam’s shifts, and no one wants to commit the ultimate sin of watching ahead without their partner. We got all caught up just after the first episode of season 8 aired and I’m getting really frustrated with having to wait to find out what is happening next. I think I might have to invest in the books and give them a read when its all over!

2.       Jordans Skinny Syrup.

             So, as you all know one of my goals for 2019 was to lose some weight. I faffed around for a                 couple of months and then mid-March I decided I needed help, so I joined slimming world.                 It hasn’t all been smooth for me and I still struggle with my sweet tooth some days but                         Jordans Skinny Syrups definitely help! My favorite and the first one I got is definitely the Mint Choc. Anybody who knows me knows that if I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be Mint Choc Chip ice cream and its something I've really been missing on slimming world, especially with the warmer weather coming so when I found this in TK Maxx I was excited to try but also skeptical. IT IS AMAZING. I mix it into my 0%fat yoghurts and mix with some berries or I microwave a choc brownie fiber one bar for 30 seconds and have the yogurt mix with that. I also have the cinnamon vanilla syrup and it really helps with the sweet tooth!

3.       Fibre one popcorn bars. This is another slimming world one but more in the way that I wouldn’t have discovered these without slimming world and I now honestly think that I have eaten one almost every day in April – I use it as my Healthy Extra B mostly and eat it as a morning snack after my fruit and yogurt. They come in two flavors (as far as I know) Milk chocolate and peanut butter and I don’t have a favorite flavor honestly, they are both beautiful!

4.       Grey’s Anatomy. I have watched a lot of TV this month. Feeling tired all month and being really busy has left me sitting in front of the TV looking for something to watch and I’m now finally on season 15 of Greys! I again was really late to the bandwagon with this one – I think I watched a couple of episodes of the spin-off private practice when I was at Uni but it wasn’t really until maternity leave that I decided to give Greys a go and I was obsessed. I binged the first 12 seasons then just kind of forgot about it. This month I have watched almost every single episode. I’m halfway through season 15 and I don’t want it to end!

5.       Hello fresh. I know Hello Fresh is hyped up a lot, especially by influencers on YouTube, which coincidentally how I first heard about it. I told Sam about it and he looked into it and we decided to give it a go. We haven’t looked back. The meals are beautiful and work well with just a few adjustments for my Slimming World. It’s also convenient for us as we don’t always have time to go out and do a food shop and we get to eat loads of different foods! We pay 29.99 per week for three meals for two people and at first, it seemed a little expensive but now we wouldn’t be without it!

Joining Slimming World!

So, I joined slimming world! I had been toying with the idea for a while umming and ahhing about if I was going to do it and I found a group close to me, so, after putting it off for a few weeks I plucked up the courage and went along.

I had been trying to lose weight on my own for a while and it just wasn’t working for me very well. I’m the kind of person that needs a plan, with motivation and lots of encouragement. I have next to no will power so I felt that slimming world would really help.

I looked at WW (Used to be weight watchers) but after talking to some people I felt that Slimming World was a better fit for me.

It took me a few weeks after I have made the decision to join slimming world to actually go because I was so nervous. I am embarrassed about how big I let myself get and felt like I was going to be judged for letting myself get that way.

I was still so nervous when I finally got into that room. Being the only new member that session probably didn’t help with the nerves.

The group I go to is honestly the most caring and considerate group. I instantly felt accepted and now know how stupid it was to worry about being judged. Honestly, everybody who goes to Slimming World is there do the exact same reason as I am. To lose some weight and have a healthier lifestyle.

I don’t go to Slimming World just to lose weight though. I go to help get a healthier relationship with food. Food has always been my comfort, especially in the days of my deep depression. My bad days mentally are the hardest for me but I’m definitely learning how to cope without binge eating whenever I feel down.

I’d like to do some more Slimming World posts on here so if you like these definitely keep your eyes peeled for them! Also if you are following Slimming World let me know your top tips for keeping on plan!

Harry's April Favourites!

Another favorites post – I’m going to try to do two of these every month; one for all of the things Harry has loved that month and one for all of the things I have been loving, so make sure you keep an eye out for my ‘April Favourites’ coming soon!

April has felt like it’s been a busy month for us. We’ve had a lot going on to be fair and so Harry has discovered lots of new things to love this month and even rediscovered some old loves too! Here are his top 5 in no particular order!

1.    Milk – What a strange thing to be put into a monthly favorites post! Who doesn’t love a nice cold glass of milk? Harry for some reason has been drinking milk like it's going out of fashion. For a couple of months, he really went off milk, not wanting to touch anything remotely milk like – We just about got him to eat some yogurts – and I was really getting worried about him not getting enough calcium, but lately, he is drinking milk nonstop. When offered a drink he will always ask for milk. He also can’t get enough of yogurts and cheese. Don’t need to worry about the calcium now!

2.    Chicco goal league – For Harry’s birthday this year he got this interactive goal from my dad and he is obsessed. It’s a great little toy keeping him active and encourages him to run and aim and all sorts of things. The goal itself has three settings, penalty shots which you can play 1 vs 1, golden goals which seems like a timed setting and then challenge. Harry loves the light and sounds. It comes with a very soft ball which makes it perfect for indoor play but its super lightweight (Harry can lift it and carry it around his room, we are constantly going to get him in the morning and it is in a different place then we left it the night before) and we are hoping it will be good in the garden in the summer too!

3.   Talking Mr. Tumble toy – When shopping for Harry’s main birthday present in Smyth’s toy store, Sam and I came across this and knew we had to get it for him! It has fast become his very favorite teddy. Mr. Tumble is the first thing we hear through the monitor in the morning letting us know Harry is awake. He will work his way through the phrases that Mr. Tumble says until he gets to the Something Special theme tune, which he then sings, and signs along to. Harry will find his Mr. Tumble whenever he can and sing the tune – Because we obviously need more Mr. Tumble in our lives!!

4.       Pizza – Has anyone noticed that there is always food in Harry’s favorites? To be honest he has always been a big eater and food has always been his favorite part of any day. Harry discovered a real passion for Pizza this month. I think it helps that he has almost learned to say pizza, but he has asked for pizza for his tea almost every day this month. His favorite seems to be Cheese and Tomato, but Harry will happily eat any pizza put in front of him.

5.    Peppa Pig 

It pains me to be putting Peppa Pig in a harry favorites. I was that mum swearing my child would never watch Peppa Pig. I feel that Peppa is rude to her parents – Well rude in general – and promotes bad behavior – Unfortunately Harry doesn’t seem to agree! I don’t really know where its all come from but Harry will happily sit and watch Peppa for hours if we let him and once it's turned off he will sign ‘pig’ while saying please – He’s really cute but I need to learn to say no once in a while!!

And those are the top 5 things Harry has been loving this month!!

What do your toddlers love?

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